Bonnie Comfort is an author and psychologist. In 1995 Simon & Schuster published her first novel, "Denial," which was a psychological thriller and best seller in 8 countries and translated into 5 languages. Her latest book, "Staying Married is the Hardest Part: a memoir of passion, secrets and sacrifice," explores long-term marriage as told through her own passionate marriage to a Hollywood screenwriter that seems glamorous on the surface but underneath is plagued with sexual secrets and power struggles.
Coping with shame about some of her choices, Comfort asks herself: How much is too much in pleasing a partner? How do your behaviors contribute to conflicts? Can you be brave in speaking your truth while still being open to compromise?
"Staying Married" is a compelling story for those who want to feel hope about long-term love and see the moments of grace that can emerge even when resolution feels out of reach.
Readers Favorite said, "Because of her background as a therapist, Comfort brings a unique level of insight...making this memoir both deeply personal and incredibly thoughtful..."
Mike Consol, host of the Novelist Spotlight podcast, and author of "Love American Style" described Comfort's memoir as "A startling and beautiful story that will inspire readers."
Deb Miller, author of "Forget the Fairy Tale and Find Your Happiness," described "Staying Married" as "Perfect for readers seeking inspiration for navigating the rocky terrain of long-term relationships."
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2025 IPPY Awards Silver Medalist for Sexuality/Relationships 2025 ZIBBY Most Anticipated Book of 2025 2025 ZIBBY Summer Reads Selection Can a loving relationship endure career setbacks, infidelities, and mismatched sexual desires? This is the question psychologist Bonnie Comfort grapples with as she navigates her unpredictable thirty-year marriage to Hollywood screenwriter Bob, while she provides marital therapy to others. Bob is affectionate, brilliant, and hilarious—but his sexual desires are incompatible with Bonnie’s. Despite her misgivings, she indulges his kinks, which often included photographing her in lingerie. Their Hollywood life is exciting, but eventually Bob’s growing career frustrations lead to his complete sexual shutdown. Tensions rise, and Bob suggests Bonnie have discreet affairs and not tell him. She does just that—but when she confesses her infidelities five years later, his sexual demands become more extreme. When she complies, Bonnie feels shame; when she refuses, as she increasingly does, their fights threaten to tear their marriage apart. Bonnie understands the rhythm of disconnection and repair that is common in love relationships. As we follow the journey of her own life, she shares with the reader the nature of intimacy, distance and expectations placed on long-term love. With honesty and vulnerability, she recounts the passionate highs and lows of her own marriage which sadly ends with Bob’s death. As she grieves, Bonnie reflects on her role in their marital struggles and offers profound insights about marriage from her personal and professional experience. Her story lays bare the complexities of love, the ongoing challenges women face in intimate relationships, and how even difficult marriages can find a way to thrive.